Domestic violence: The discreet truth of our society
By Nadia Bako
I am probably not the best person to know the reality of this matter, but I definitely know there is need to say something about it, because it is a grave one. Domestic violence is not a myth and that we all know, because it is happening everywhere around us. I might not know the real consequences of being violated domestically but I have seen it happen and I do know how it ends eventually. A lot among our societies do not see the need for concern on this topic. This shocking truth within our community is either ignored or brushed aside or kept a secret out of fear of being criticized by the society.
I find it quite ironic to see how our traditions emphasize the sacredness of the female body, yet she is the number one victim of aggression and violence. Although our cultures tell us the values and worth of the mothers of our nations, they do not say much about protecting them.
It is truly saddening for one to see the misery of another, just stand aside, and watch. I remember a few days ago, right outside my house a couple were arguing so loud that I could hear every word from the argument. Because of discretion and anonymity, I will not state names or the exact happenings of the event. I will say however that this argument ended up into a physical fight. I could hear from my window the husband striking his wife on the street and people telling the drunken man to stop, but because of not wanting to interfere into a marital problem, everyone just stood aside and watched as this drunken man kept hitting his wife.
In my personal opinion, domestic violence is not just out of the badness of a person, it is simply ignorance. I know it is human to have a bit of a temper here and then, but to believe it is a normal thing to direct this temper on an innocent victim, that is pure ignorance. I am not saying that I know the feeling of being physically abused, but I know these victims need a voice. Our communities know about this matter of concern, our communities however refuse to take action because they are not taught about voicing out their problems. Our societies mumble and complain and then that is it. Victims eventually learn that being abused by a companion is a natural phenomenon. They are told that it is a disgrace and betrayal to report incidents of abuse by their spouses, and in the end, as this goes on, the worst eventually happens. I might not have experienced them but I have seen incidents of abuse, and I will say that they never end well.
It is upon us to protect and help each other each other. It is upon every individual to better his society. With backward behaviors and attitudes like these, I do not see us as a whole heading anywhere ahead.