In the US the Customer is King of Kings
By lute wa lutengano
I recall penning something on this third rate column some years ago about an experience I had in New York some many years ago, I believe in the late 80s or 90s. If I had, please excuse me if I will bore you by repeating it here. Those were my early years of initiation in that city which never sleeps.
I had walked into a pub on 42nd Street and I believe 2nd Avenue. I had gone there to meet a colleague of mine, a Tanzanian, who was living and working in New York. He had been there for several years already.
As usual I perched myself on one of the counter stools and ordered a beer. It seemed my friend was taking his time to fulfil his appointment. So I ordered a second beer and then a third. When I ordered the fourth, the barman got concerned and began quizzing me.
He wondered as to whether I had lost a beloved one or my girlfriend had ditched me, or some other calamity had befallen me. I responded negatively. When I ordered my fifth beer, the barman almost went berserk.
He was convinced I was up to no good. He was on the verge of summoning the pub bouncers when I informed him I was really ok. And that I was there waiting for my Tanzanian friend so we could go out, and most probably on a proper drinking spree. That is when he asked as to where I was from. Tanzania, I responded. “You should have told me. I have no problems with Tanzanians. They can stand the drink. And the last beer is on the house,” he acknowledged handing me the beer. What a reputation!
It later dawned on me that in the U.S. they have very strict laws safeguarding interests of consumers. Some of these laws or regulations are rather absurd. For example if I had taken too much booze in that pub and after leaving I had fallen down injuring myself on account of my inebriated state, I had the right to sue the Pub owner and the barman in particular.
I had come to forget about this episode until this week when another friend of mine, a Tanzanian diplomat, sent me a note from Malaysia reminding me that it was again the Stella Awards season in the U.S.
For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck, who allegedly spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued the MacDonald’s in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. I am told she took the lid off the coffee and put it in between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burnt doing that, right? She is said to have been paid more than US$ 500,000.
These are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. Some of these episodes which have previously been recognised include; Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas who was awarded US$ 80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The storeowners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California who won US$ 74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour’s hubcaps.
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania; because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her US$ 113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Or the case of Mrs Mery Grazinski of Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from a football game, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go back of the Winnebago to make herself a sand-which. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in an owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her US$ 1,750,000 plus a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
Some of these episodes may have been sugared to make them more appealing. But they go a long way to give you an indication that when we say ‘the Customer is King’, in the U.S. ‘the Customer is the King of Kings’
mpumilwa@gmail.com.
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