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Issue 00525 |
July 5 - 11, 2008 |
issn 0856 - 9135 |
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Parenthood |
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Seeking meaningful friendship
Just as juniors are changing from children to adults physically, so they are also becoming much more socially aware and socially mature. They want adult like relationships. They want friends. When they were younger, they only needed playmates, but now they need and seek out meaningful friendships. Friends are very different from playmates. They are people who can be trusted, who listen to you and who understand feelings. They are people you can share your life with and learn from. Friends become a necessity of life and the lack or loss of them becomes a crisis. Loneliness becomes a new experience for juniors and the fear of rejection becomes a source of anxiety and often dictates behaviour and value choices. Juniors will usually do whatever is most conducive to making friends and keeping them. It is safe to say that friends are the lifeblood of adolescence. A few years ago I conducted a survey and asked juniors this question. Do you like school? The vast majority surprisingly responded with yes. When I asked them to explain, they indicated that they liked school for one reason. School is first and foremost a place to be with friends. Similarly, many students who expressed a strong dislike for school cited the absence of friends or the presence of enemies. The quality of the teaching, curricula, facilities and programs had little to do with their feelings toward school. Friends were and are primary. The implications for junior workers should be obvious. Youth groups need to have a good amount of redeeming social value in order for juniors to enjoy being a part of them. The youth group should be a place where good friends are found. (To be continued)
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By
Rev. Andrew Ole Gama