 Why
we should understand gender violence in society
by Serah Naisoi
Although violence in Africa seems to target all people, both men and women,
there is special concern for particular forms of violence directed against
women.
If it is, indeed, true that every 40 minutes a woman (read as young as seven
years) in getting raped in each country in Africa, then there is reason to get
to the deep-rooted reasons why this should happen at all.
Reading stories in newspapers only brings anger, anxiety and fear to some, while
the same stories seem to give those with evil minds the zeal to attack more.
Even as we come up with proposals such as chemical castration which can help
discourage would-be rapists, there must be lots of other heinous things we as a
society are doing wrong that could contribute to violence by one gender against
the other.
Every time I get a chance to discuss the topic of violence against women with
other women from all walks of life, and from my own readings and personal
experience, I come up with so many questions with no clear and forthright
answers.
At times, several more other questions keep popping up my mind that should make
us look at this issue from a real big picture perspective so that we can have a
workable conceptual framework to deal with, not just with gender violence, but
all the interwoven causes and effects of this evil thing (read violence).
Some of the questions we must ask include:
What is it that makes men feel that they should violate women? Has patriarchy
been challenged much more than our society can effectively deal with?
Is it about a group of frustrated men who feel that the only way to express
their anger is to hurt the weak and vulnerable who, in this case, happen to be
women and young girls? Is it about keeping women in their place? African
society?
Have issues of women's empowerment challenged these abusive men to the level
where they every turn against their own daughters and neighbours even as young
as seven years? Is it about a society whose morality has decayed to unimaginable
levels?
Have we asked ourselves what could be the role of unemployment? The huge gaps
between the rich and the poor? I always wonder what people who live in abject
poverty feel when they see their neighbours swimming in so much wealth? Does
that not lead to uncontrollable anger?
Some years back, I had an interesting discussion with an ex-street boy who had
been rehabilitated to a level where he owned his small mitumba business and was
helping others to move out of the streets.
I got the most unexpected answer in my life as he told me that what angered him
most was to see a black African driving a sleek car in the streets. He said he
could understand it if men were better off than himself, but he never came to
terms with why an African woman should be better than him!
Your guess could be as good as mine what such a person could do to such a woman
if he carjacked her or if he robbed her house.
What role do some of our cultural beliefs about men and women have?
Recently (as I was discussing with fellow women about gender violence), I was
pole-axed by a group of some women whom I was discussing with.
We had a small drama depicting a woman who was battered by her husband because
she had asked him about his affairs with other women. She was afraid that if she
continued staying with him, she would get infected with HIV/AIDS and other
sexually transmitted diseases.
The husband continued beating her saying that he had paid dowry or bride price
for her, hence she was his property and that he could do anything he deemed fit
and proper with her.
The participants who were to decide if the woman should go back to her parents
or stay with her violent husband acted out a community court.
The battered woman=s brothers were against her returning home as they did not
want to return the bride price. The decision of the community court was divided
into two groups: the women felt that the woman should go back to her parents
while the men voted for the woman staying with her husband.
In my view, this was yet another less that there are still serious gender issues
that have yet to be addressed. Some of those that immediately come to mind
include:
* Continued reference for the boy-child that cuts across class and education
levels.
* Continued depiction of men as bread-winners and sole providers while women
still appear to be dependents.
* Continued payment of bride price making men feel they 'own' women.
* The continued reference of women as 'outsiders' in their matrimonial homes -
people who neither belong to their home of birth or to their matrimonial homes.
* The persistent belief that men cannot control their sexual urges - once they
want it, they must get it - and that women are there to satisfy their
uncontrollable sexual desires.
The list could be as long as the number of rapes occurring each minute in
Africa, but if we looked at all these burning issues and developed a conceptual
framework, I am sanguine we could come up with some workable solutions.
Serah Naisoi is a teacher and standard bearer for women and
children rights.
email: naisoiv@yahoo.co.uk
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