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Mwalimu Nyerere: "How I weep for Arusha Declaration!"
By Valentine Marc Nkwame
Last week. I had this rather terrible nightmare, in which I dreamt that I was
dead! Now, as fate would have it, when I awoke I discovered that I was indeed
very dead .... Kaput! And what's more? My dead soul had already arrived in the
land of the dead, wherever that was.
Since it was still morning and being a stranger in that land of the dead, I went
into a nearby Café, where I intended to order Coffee, then while at it, also ask
for some directions. Coincidentally, it happened to be the same Café in which
former African leaders liked to take their breakfast.
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Mwalimu Julius Nyerere |
The first one to arrive was Mwalimu Julius Nyerere. Mwalimu
headed straight to my table and without even glancing, the former president of
Tanzania sat down, put on his glasses and began perusing a little booklet which
he had brought along. "I still can't find anything wrong with this!" He muttered
to himself, shaking his head.
I craned my neck to have a look at the booklet's sleeve and to my surprise, it
was written; 'The Arusha Declaration of 1967!' So I decided to greet him. "Shikamoo
Mwalimu, I happen to come from Arusha, a town where that declaration was
endorsed."
Nyerere looked up in surprise, extended his hand and shook mine strongly. Just
then two more former African leaders joined us at the table, One being the
former Congo president, Mobutu Sese Seko and the other was the former Field
Marshall, Idi Amin Dada of Uganda. Nyerere introduced me to them. "Hello both of
you! This fellow here comes from my former country!" He said.
"So! Which part of Tanzania do you happen to come from?" Asked Idi Amin Dada. He
looked as well nourished as he always used to be, but this time more serene.
"Arusha!" I replied. " You know, that place which is alleged to be the center
point between Cape Town and Cairo City."
"Is Arusha in Tanzania! Wasn't it supposed to be somewhere in Rwanda or
Burundi?" Asked Mobutu, rather perplexed. He was still adorning a leopard skin
over his shoulders.
"Arusha is in Tanzania you should know that!" retorted Mwalimu. "Maybe you got
mixed up by the idea of the UN International Criminal Tribunal for the 1994
Rwanda genocide being based there and the fact that it was also where the
Burundi Peace Negotiation Sessions were being held."
"Well, it could be," said Mobutu, still not very much convinced. " Anyway, what
is new back there in the world? Do our people in Uganda; Tanzania and Zaire,
still miss us?"
"Can't be so sure about that!" I replied. " Especially in Zaire. By the way,
there is no Zaire, the country's name had been changed into the 'Democratic
Republic of Congo,' or in short DRC!"
"Good gracious!" Yelled Mobutu. "What a long, exotic and cumbersome name, it
makes tongues bleed to pronounce it."
"So did 'Mobutu-Sese- Seko-Kuku- Ngbendu-Wa- Za Banga," said another former
African leader who had just joined us at the table. "The name also used to be
quite long, weird and extremely cumbersome. In fact, many tongues, hearts, necks
and other parts of human anatomies, shed pure blood, in the process of trying to
pronounce it properly!" The newcomer who said this was none other than ....
Laurent Desire Kabila, the founder of DRC.
"And, what is wrong with human anatomies bleeding?" asked Idi Amin. "They are
supposed to!"
"Stop it now!" commanded Nyerere, banging on the table and spilling Mobutu's
coffee. "This guy here has just arrived from Tanzania and I want him to tell us
about the country, but all you seem to be doing here, is reminisce about your
past bloody eras!" This statement certainly made the other fellows to shut up.
"Anyway there is nothing new about Tanzania save for the fact that, the country
is about to hold its third Multiparty General Elections on October 30. There are
ten presidential candidates from about eighteen political parties. However, your
old pal, Justice Joseph Sinde Warioba thinks that, there is only one political
party and the rest are just groups of whining people .... which they are!"
"I understand that this time a woman is also running for the presidency,"
sneered Field Marshall Idi Amin. "Don't you think this is stretching democracy
rather too far?"
"No! I don't think so," shouted Canaan Banana from another table. The former
ceremonial president of Zimbabwe was taking hot milk and sausages. "There is
nothing wrong with a woman running for the presidency as long as she is not
allowed to win. It helps convince foreign donors to continue pouring money in
our coffers."
"Yeah!" Supported Mobutu. "What is important here is cash. An African leader
needs money, gold and diamonds to run his hundred castles, feed his thousand
women, buy cars for the millions of boot-lickers under his heels, reinforce the
loyal military forces and still have enough change left to deposit into his
numbered Swiss accounts."
Nyerere once more opened his Arusha Declaration booklet, shook his head and
muttered; "There is nothing wrong with this manifesto, why did the Tanzanian
people chose to trash it? Soon they will all be talking like Banana, Mobutu and
Idi Amin .... How I weep for the country!
nkwame@gmail.com
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