So what next. EAC Stadium ... Or maybe pubs?
By Valentine Marc Nkwame
Here we go again! This week, the East African Community (EAC), went back to the Sheikh Amri Abeid Stadium and once more signed up something .... Yawn! Yawn.
Now, whatever that was, is probably the tenth thing to be signed at the stadium, under the umbrella of the East African Community.
By the way! I am talking about real umbrellas here, because it usually rains whenever the EAC is signing up something at the stadium.
It also rained during this week’s ceremony to sign up that thing, not very much but enough to drive everybody who wasn’t a Per diem expecting- EAC bureaucrat, out of the venue.
Left to their own resources, the EAC bandwagon, their "Invited" guests and a couple of local Presidents, thus launched the Signing up ceremony .... By the end of which, something got signed up.
The stadium venue was fully packed with gleaming Mercedes Benz saloon cars, which explain why the federal republic of Germany recently extended a grant of 8 million Euros, towards the construction of the EAC headquarter .... The community is keeping German’s motor industry in business.
Introducing himself as a Kenyan Army Liaison Officer (!!) based in Arusha (!!!), or maybe at the EAC. The master of ceremony welcomed everybody at .... Eh... "Karume" stadium.
"My Kiswahili is sick!" he chortled, but then, so was his idea of baptising the stadium with such a name.
Mind you, this came just a few hours after the EAC fellows robbed old Simeon of his road, before naming it after themselves.
Unfortunately! Nobody knows who that Simeon guy was. Actually nobody knows what EAC is either but we all know that, a road has the right to retain its name, whether the EAC chaps want it or not.
Besides, the EAC renaming game also went a bit too far. At the stadium, somebody introduced the Kenyan first lady as, Mrs Lucy Mkapa .... Mm!
Oh! And has President Moi of Kenya also changed his name and now calls himself Mwai Kibaki? .... Okay, so he was replaced, thank you.
Anyway, the EAC renaming game is quite a fresh thing around here. Time to make the most of it, starting with all the drinking joints where the bureaucrats normally go to irrigate their throats (After signing up something of course) .... EAC Pubs.
Seth Benjamin road
This should be renamed, EAC bureaucrat road, because the Falcon Dry Cleaning outfit is located along the road. You see, some staff of the EAC secretariat usually take their fabrics to be cleaned there.
Let us call this the EAC junction, because it is very big and therefore all of the three East African member countries can each get a satisfactory share of it.
The National Natural Museum, should now be christened, the EAC Boma, mainly due to the fact that, this is where all the cultural events to mark the East African Community day are always staged.
Besides, the museum once used to be known as the German Boma. What a coincidence, maybe Germany will extend another 8 million euros to ... Eh ... renovate it.
The Clock Tower
Ah! Sure thing. The Clock Tower should be renamed, the EAC Tower. You see, the clock fixed there, seems to have been set in, Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) as used in Britain. Apparently, the three East African countries were once British colonies.
English Medium Schools
All the local English Medium schools should definitely be called, EAC institutions, since they all consist of teachers from Kenya and Uganda, with pupils from Tanzania.
Sheikh Amri Abeid Stadium
Of course this must be called, EAC stadium, after all, everything being signed in the name of EAC is usually signed there.
Besides, another German grant, may just come in time to save the badly cracked stadium from crumbling down like a cookie.
So! What was being signed by the EAC at the stadium this week?
Well, if I heard right then, it sounded like a Protocol Draft .... Or was it Practical Graft?