|
|
A still life that is the EAC wall calendar !By Valentine Marc Nkwame
Unfortunately, most of us are not quite sure of what exactly a Draft protocol (or Protocol draft) is, so we would rather stick to the EAC wall calendar instead. Like all other calendars, this one from EAC also has 12 months, 52 weeks and 366 days, with all the dates that fall on Sundays printed in red .... How original! But unlike the others, you are less likely to see, let alone own the Calendar, because it also happens to be as rare as the EAC passports .... and about as useful. Never mind, but as usual, the calender has this inevitable line-up of the three Presidents of Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania on its first page which has the January and February months. Apparently, the former Kenyan fronts man, President Daniel Arap Moi, no longer towers above the other two heads of state, mainly because he was since, replaced by President Mwai Kibaki, who is of the same height as President Yoweri Museveni of Uganda .... Or so it seems on this calender. But somebody should surely remind the EAC Secretariat that, there has never been a written rule which says; "Anybody who happens to be ruling Kenya, must always stand in the middle during a photo session of the three East African presidents!" Not in the Treaty anyway. Besides, the calendar’s front page, would have looked much better if President Benjamin Mkapa was pictured standing at the centre (He is the shortest of the three). In fact, the photo could have even been a classic portrait, if President Yoweri Museveni had bothered to keep his neck tie straight. Never mind, but for the first time in history, the EAC passports are finally displayed in public- here on the second page of the EAC calendar .... They are all light blue in colour, by the way! Trust the East African Community to come up with something as predictably boring as the usual Tree Planting repertoire, topped with the usual stuff about the environment. This is clearly displayed in form of another group photo of EAC officials, posing with gullible looking, primary school pupils in Mara region. Hey! And who is that in the middle? A female child with her own baby? We should have known. So, who is the tallest person in the entire EAC outfit? The calendar provides the answer on page four, which also displays another group picture (Yawn! Yawn!) And the months of July and August. Dr. Kipyego Cheluget, one of the two deputy, EAC Secretary Generals, towers high above five other fellows; His Boss, Nuwe-Amanya Mushega. His colleague, Ambassador Ali Mchumo and all the three East African presidents .... Bless him. Ah! And finally, my old pal, Magaga Alot, the EAC Secretariat Press officer makes his debut appearance on the following page and he seems to be grinning from ear to ear. The satisfied Magaga Alot is pictured among several other suit-clad, bureaucrats, who look on as Ambassador Ali Mchumo, waters a newly planted tree somewhere in the Kisumu town of Kenya. For some reason, this happens to be a second tree planting- picture gospel, that the EAC Secretariat is forcing onto its 2004 calendar .... Could be some foreign donor had shown interest in funding the community’s environmental course. You would think that the EAC Secretariat should have at least, tried to brighten up the last calender page with something more colourful since it contains the holiday month of December .... Unfortunately Not! Instead of printing pictures of Santa Claus, or Rudolf, the Red necked reindeer the calender climaxes with a wide photo print of about 29 members of the East African Legislative Assembly (EALA) .... Not a very good idea for Christmas Card. Is it? .... And now for a Quick quip: A certain travel Website was recently discovered to be advertising the Arusha- based, Mount Meru Hotel, indicating that the hotel was actually in South Africa .... Mm! So much for the "Between Cape Town and Cairo." Slang. This however, should now help us to foster our East African brotherhood, as we can no longer accuse Kenyans for claiming that Mount Kilimanjaro is in their country .... Which is true anyway!
|
Whether it is
through hard work or sheer luck, the East African Community (EAC), has once more
managed to survive into yet another year, launched its own 2004 wall calendar
and is even promising to stage a mass signing of something known as, "The Draft
Protocol for the EAC Customs Union" .... Or Vice versa!
