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Ubarikio! ... all hell breaking loose.By Valentine Marc Nkwame Ah! And faith. So this is December then? Well it is inevitable that, some local youngsters here are now being whisked into various churches ...ceremoniously... to receive what is known here as, Ubarikio ... yes AUbarikio!@ AUbarikio,@ is essentially a graduation ceremony for children aged between 12 and 14, who for the last one year or so, might have been undergoing extensive religious lessons about; Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, David and Goliath, plus a few facts about, Sodom and Gomorrah ....or something! Never mind, but this happens to be the most modern and less barbaric method of community initiation, which has since replaced Male circumcision and Female genital mutilation. Of course, boys are still being circumcised, but the ordeal is nowadays conducted under allegedly, hygiene conditions in Hospitals. Now, this only constitutes physical circumcision, the spiritual one always follows in the form of Ubarikio, in local chapels, at each end of the year. Female Genital Mutilation on the other hand, has totally been banned, at least by local pressure groups, precisely those receiving generous funding from the commandeers of the New world order or such similar malarkey. AOur donor fathers who acts in foreign countries,@ have however not yet banned spiritual circumcision for girls and due to this, the girls also find themselves alongside boys, at the altar in December, taking the required vows, before being initiated into Christendom adulthood. The vows are usually quite easy, though also utterly meaningless, the youths are forced to recite some memorized lines, to the effect of; AI Denounce the Devil with all his (her) deeds...!@ Never mind what these ADevil deeds,@ are supposed to be, but once the kids have taken these vows, they become AAdult@ Christians, which means from then henceforth, the youngsters will be qualified to sip something called, AHoly Communion@ which again is essentially Wine! .... Wine and Bread. Before receiving the AHoly Communion@ one has to kneel before the altar, then the pastor, priest or vicar, puts the said bread on your tongue, then handles you a cup of red wine to wash it down with. If you are Catholic then the priest will just give you the bread and drink the wine himself, if you are a Catholic you don=t have to kneel either. Anyway, after denouncing the Devil or maybe Satan, at the alter, the children, who have just turned into adults, then return to their respective homes, riding in long convoys of vehicles, accompanied by badly tuned, brass bands (!), coarse voiced lady singers and the whole third army of alleged relatives all of whom, being only interested in the feast that is to follow. The feast, as usual, include; Fried Pilau rice, Fried Bananas, Fried Potatoes, Fried Meat, Fried Chicken, Fried Mutton, Fried Pork and afterwards, Fried Brains, following irresponsible guzzling down of the frothy liquids .... At the right temperatures! In a nutshell, Ubarikio means, Meaningless Church vows, Sumptuous feasting of fries, Frying the kids brains with liquor, too much drinking, too much dancing and singing along to tunes that go like; A AHakuna kulala! Hata kama hujala!@ (There is no sleeping! Even if you haven=t yet eaten!) With such intoxications taking toll on the youths hormones, the incident of Sodom and Gommorah is always likely to be repeated. During these AUbarikios,@ some Adams and Eves will also likely to taste the forbidden fruit. Mind you, with such mass boozing going around there is a big chance of drunken Davids killing Goliaths, Cains killing Abels, or maybe Parents killing their children=s morals! Whatever, but suffice to say that; If God doesn=t burn down these AUbarikios,@ then He will certainly owe a written apology to both Sodom and Gommorah!
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