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Where Gongo comes into the picture!By Valentine Marc Nkwame
Actually! We had previously intended to call it, GONGO (?) BOOK OF MOUNT MERU RECORDS! But by the time we went to the press, Gongo was still an illegal drink Yes! And Mount Meru hadn’t yet erupted. Anyway. The following is a list of the most voted, outstanding events, performers and places of Arusha: 1. ... MOST STRANGE ROAD Also qualifies to be the World’s most weird street! Where vehicles cross at the Zebra crossing in order to avoid being run down by people who have taken over the road. This strange road apparently, is none other than ... Nyamwezi Street, adjacent to the Central market. 2. ... WIDEST ROUNDABOUT Measures at about one kilometre in diameter, strategically constructed as a commercial ploy to empty the tank of any vehicle, which has just completed a full lapse around it. This was because a certain "investor" had planned to build a Gas station next to the roundabout .... Genius! The plan of course, was later botched, but unfortunately, the roundabout had already been built. What a shame .... And a record! ... LARGEST SEA Believed it or not, the world’s largest and deepest sea is located here in Arusha. This is where all the water which should have been coming out of the town taps, is apparently flowing into. ... FASTEST MARATHON RUNNER Any person who successfully manages to snatch your handbag or cellular phone, in the streets. Unfortunately, none of these terrific athletes has ever been caught so far ... At least to give us their names for them to be recorded here! ... SUPERSONIC GROUND SPEED Daily achievements of these amazing feats have been constantly recorded in Arusha since 1995. The vehicles with the Concorde speeds, have special blue number plates, that distinguishes them from other machines of lesser horsepower. The blue plated super chargers can negotiate a sharp corner bend at around 300 MPH, without hitting anything .... Except maybe a few toddlers. ...SLOWEST MOVING VEHICLE Any local town bus cruising on the road .... When there is a traffic policeman ahead and some imagined, potential passengers, about two kilometres behind. ... MOST EXPENSIVE HOOKER The twilight girl who charges Tsh.500 for her services, when the clock reads, "One hour past Midnight!" This is the time when, the charges for such services should have dropped to around Tsh.200 with condoms and Tsh.150 without .... Could be vice versa! ... CHEAPEST HOTEL FOOD The one that costs over US$ 1000 per meal. Eat anything cheaper than that and face the possibility of spending over US$ 1 million in medical bills afterwards. ... STRANGEST TWINS This is the recently delivered cute pair of babies, very healthy and quite charming! .... We think they were strange because their mother dumped them shortly after.. The other strange pair of twins were each born with 12 months between them ... Family planning or something. ... TALLEST PERSON The one who goes round, unscrewing street light bulbs from their sockets without any problem. Why? We even got his name, "Alladin and the wonderful street lamps!" ... LARGEST FAMILY This is always present at the funerals of people who die suddenly, without leaving a Will ... Or has left a disputed one. ... BEST SELLING DRINK Ah! Our nemesis "Gongo!" sells rapidly than anything in its class.... Judging by the number of people with fleshy pink lips in town!
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Here goes our own
local version of the, GUINNESS (TM) BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS. Except, of course, it
is going to be known as, MBEGE (TM) BOOK OF ARUSHA RECORDS!
