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"A Bumblebee can never fly!"By Valentine Marc Nkwame "A Bumble-bee cannot fly!" State the Biologists. According to the Naturalists’ theory; The size, shape, weight and rate of Bumblebees wing oscillations, make it impossible for the insects to fly. Fortunately, however, the Bumble-bees have never read those scientific theories and due to that, they simply beat their wings, defy the gravity and fly .... Nice and easy. Now, at the main entrance of the Mount Meru Hospital, there is this large signboard, declaring that, "No Business is Permitted," within the Regional Medical centre grounds. Except however, just as you pass the gate there is a wooden kiosk, located on the right, doing roaring business, by selling phone recharge vouchers, soft drinks and assorted bites. It is also quite a long time, since my last visit to the new Mount Meru Hospital mortuary, but the last time I happened to be there, coffins were being sold at the morgue’s landing area. In fact, the coffin business inspired jokes about their dealers thanking the buyers after the transactions, " .... Welcome again!" "No Business is Permitted Here?" Surely, the hospital sign post is also being ignored by the person who runs that pharmacy shop, adjacent to Ward Number 6. Also ignoring the sign post, is the hawker who recently tried to sell me a portable radio at the hospital, insisting that, the set was very new. The radio of course, didn’t even have a brand name. "It is a Sony!" He assured me. "They just forgot to put the brand name on it." The hawker maintained. Indeed, or maybe they didn’t exactly forget to brand the set. I mean, if the company’s customers never bother to read hospital signs, why should they read Brand names? A friend of mine was once caught splashing a wall in town with urine. He was urinating straight onto a sign which read; "Ni Marufuku Kukojoa Hapa!" (It is illegal to Urinate Here). "Well, I can’t read!" He chortled, grinning fiendishly. Quite right, just like the Bumble-bee, so he defied the sign and sprayed the wall. Stepping into a town bus last week. I noticed a red sign which warned: NO SMOKING - USIVUTE SIGARA. Complete with a crossed out picture of a cigarette. "Fanya Haraka Twende!" (Hurry up let’s go). Yelled the Cigarette puffing driver to his conductor, who was busy trying to convince people to board his bus. As he did that, he also puffed a cigarette stub, releasing clouds of smoke straight onto the NO SMOKING sign. By the way, if you have noticed, no bus ever brakes at the "Bus stop" signs, but they all proceed to stop right in front of the "No Parking." Area. During a church service, one Sunday, an adult male who happened to be seated on one of the front benches, was wearing an extra large T-shirt, with these words written across the chest: "Pray for me. My wife is Irish!" Neither he, nor any of the other brethren noticed, let alone understood the message. Here, everybody seems to be a Bumble-bee. "It’s Kili Time!" Announced another blue T-shirt, in that same church congregation, but the church minister, probably also a Bumble-bee, apparently didn’t care to remind the owner that it was actually, "Worship time." Don’t local pastors ever read about what Jesus Christ did at the Temple, some few (Thousand) years ago? He threw such people out, then declared; "My father’s house is not a Den of KILI - TIMERS!" Along the Wachagga road, there is this other large signboard written: "ARUSHA URBAN WATER SUPPLY AND SEWERAGE AUTHORITY!" Standing in front of a large building. Unfortunately, the people inside the building, have never read that sign, and as the result, they don’t supply any water either .... At least, not through the Arusha Urban taps. Who ever is in charge of municipal roads, need to put up signs indicating that the portions with white paint are actually, Zebra Crossings. The signs should also explain that, Zebra Crossings usually have nothing to do with Zebras, but are actually meant for human pedestrians. Of course no one will read them. But that is the whole idea. We need those signs, at least for the sake of it. Just like we need the AUWSA sign post, the TANESCO logo, or like the way Bumble-bees need Zoological theories, in order NOT to fly. So, anytime you come across something that written in one way, but executed in the other, just remember this; According to scientists; Bumble-bees cannot fly .... But they fly anyway!
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