 The tongue twisting
local media
By Valentine Marc Nkwame
An old philosopher once summed up Journalists as, "People
whose main role is to explain to others, things which, they don’t understand
themselves!"
And indeed, due to that, we are having some rather good laughs
at the expense of the local media, precisely the Radio and Television stations.
The following are some of the rib shattering quotes that have
been collected from various such media, currently clogging our air waves ....!
"... Now, tell us exactly how did you feel when this guy
was busy raping you?" Inquired a local
broadcaster of an Arusha-based, FM station when interviewing a lady rape victim
recently.
"... Tonight. President Benjamin William Mkapa is going
to address the Nation by telephone ... !" Reports
yet another FM station in Arusha.
"... Experts have warned that, the pillars which support
the sun have been badly damaged and due to that,
the poison from the sun is now filtering in ...", announced a local
radio station before adding: "...This may actually
cause cancer!"
Apparently, the reporter had earlier on gone to cover a
workshop on "The ozone layer and global warming" at the Arusha
International Conference Centre (AICC) and the above was his much laboured
efforts to report his findings in Kiswahili language.
"... For your marriage to prosper, make sure that you
love your husband and persevere all hardships!"
This Radio- based, marriage counsellor is non other than a local female
broadcaster of an FM station. ... She is about sixteen years old and is busy
advising women who should be her mothers on how to sail the matrimony boat.
It is not just the local FM station that always get it wrong,
but even some of the oldest media houses which should know better, have a few
rather interesting broadcasting episodes:
There is a radio station which goes live on air with a weekly,
night program called "Dhifa!"
Apparently, Dhifa means feast, a grand feast at that,
but somehow, somebody decided it was feast to air it to the "below
poverty-line listeners."
"... Mh, here comes; roast beef, grilled mutton, fried
bananas and very thick hot soup, backed with fresh baked fish from Lake
Victoria!" Salivates a broadcaster live in the
air.
"... Oh! And Pilau, plenty of it, there is also white
rice, red beans, potatoes, mixed fruit salad, Yorghut...".
Et. Cetera. et cetera.
This programme has been running for years on the National
station of Radio Tanzania Dar es salaam (RTD) and is about some feast for
dignitaries being held at the State House.
As it happens, RTD reaches to as far as the remotest parts of
the country where apparently, there are reports of famine whose resulting hunger
is driving people into eating grass.
Television is still a new phenomenon in Tanzania, maybe that
is why local TV reporters get away with interviews like these:
"...Tell us, is it raining where you come from?"
Demands a local TV journalist after shoving a microphone onto the face of a
visiting head of state.
Those who were around when Mwalimu Nyerere died in 1999 will
remember this incident of the TV reporter who bodily walked up to a visiting
delegate and demanded:
"Who are you which country are you representing and why
did you come here?" The delegate humbly replied;
"I am Jerry Rawlings, the president of Ghana and I have come to attend the
funeral of Mwalimu."
"I see." Went on the
reporter. "So how do you feel now that Nyerere is
dead ... !"
Unfortunately, even the so called, "International
broadcasting media," are also following this hit and miss reporting suit.
One of them once went on air with a story about, "A
very rich and prominent businessman of Arusha, who committed suicide by setting
himself ablaze!"
The real story was like this; An Arumeru based teenager, had
just been burnt to death after his little, timber built, trading kiosk, caught
fire from a malfunctioned, Tilley lamp.
But what is wrong with that? With modern journalism the rules
are quite clear; "Don’t let facts destroy a good story!" And,
"Logic usually has no place in any good interview!"
Meanwhile, people should continue to enjoy brilliant coverage
of topics, that apparently, we ourselves don’t exactly understand.
Nkwame@shadango.com
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