Spousal abuse: Last ditch effort to exert control
By Kimberly Walker
In Tanzania it’s “illegal” to make someone wash your undergarments, yet it is
“perfectly legal” to beat and rape your wife. Spousal abuse is endemic to
Tanzanian marriage. Six out of ten women are beaten by their husbands. Some
women even believe that violence is a way that a husband expresses his love.
This article will define, dissect, and unveil the abhorrent and “legal” practice
of spousal abuse in Tanzania.
What is Spousal Abuse?
Spousal abuse is an assault, a threat to injure or kill, any other act of force
or violence or emotional maltreatment inflicted by one spouse in a marriage
against the other.
There are different forms of spousal abuse:
Physical Abuse: includes the use of physical force causing physical harm to the
spouse. Violence is generally used to intimidate, control, or force a wife to do
something against her will. This may include grabbing, pushing, slapping,
choking, punching, kicking, hitting with objects, and assaults with knives,
firearms, or other weapons.
Spousal Sexual Abuse: includes forcing a spouse to engage in any sexual activity
through the use of physical violence, intimidation or the explicit or implicit
threat of future violence, as well as engaging in extramarital affairs, which
are a leading cause of the spread of HIV in Tanzania.
Psychological/Emotional Abuse: includes explicit or implicit threats of
violence, extreme controlling types of behavior, extreme jealousy, name calling
and isolating behavior. Domestic violence is widespread and occurs among all
socio-economic groups.
The Abuser
Husbands beat their wives for a myriad of reasons. Some beat their wives for
stepping outside the role of child bearer, cook, and cleaning lady. Some men
beat their wives to put them into place. Some men beat their wives because they
had a bad day and need to take it out on someone. Some men beat their wives for
not having children. Some men beat their wives because they say it’s a way of
expressing love. Some men beat their wives because they think it is an accepted
part of marriage. Some men beat their wives because they suspect infidelity
(this beating often results in death).
Some men do it because “legally”, they have the right! Many experts believe that
spousal abuse is a learned behavior; growing up in an abusive home, watching a
father abuse a mother, leads a child to believe that abuse is a natural part of
marriage. Spousal abuse is also often bred by fear, emotional insecurity,
anxiety, and is often a last ditch effort to exert control over one’s spouse by
possessing her.
Are you an Abuser? Answer the questions below.
1. Are you extremely jealous and possessive?
2. Do you have an explosive temper?
3. Do you constantly ridicule, criticize or insult your wife?
4. Do you become violent towards your wife when you drink
and/or use drugs?
5. Have you broken things or thrown things at your wife?
6. Do you cheat on your wife?
7. Have you hit, pushed, kicked, or harmed your wife?
8. Have you threatened to hurt or kill your wife?
9. Have you forced your wife to have sex, or intimidated her so is afraid to say
no?
10. Do you spy on your wife or constantly check up on her?
If you answered yes to two or more of these questions then you fit the Abuser
profile.
The Abused
In Tanzania, most woman women have no voice to stand up against wife-beating let
alone have the option of escaping an abusive marriage. Women remain in an
abusive household for a variety of reasons: economic, parental (to protect the
children), cultural, and psychological. Some women may have low self-esteem, a
fluctuating sense of self-worth, or may have come from an abusive family or
environment - which conditions them to expect abuse as inevitable and normal.
Many women lack resources and social support to leave an abusive husband. Even
though domestic violence is widespread and occurs among all socio-economic
groups, poor and powerless women are most vulnerable. They have the least amount
of resources to escape or change their situation.
Here are a few organizations that women can go to for advice, help and guidance
when living with spousal abuse:
Coalition on Violence Against Women, COVAW, which campaigns against violence on
women in different parts of the country.
International Federation of Women Lawyers, FIDA, is leading the coalition to
fight for women’s rights.
Tanzanian Women Lawyers Association, TAWLA, aims to educate women about their
rights and about the law, since women are the caretakers and educators in the
family, and to do research on specific areas of women’s human rights.
Spousal abuse is wrong. It is a choice. It is a learned behavior, therefore can
be changed. Change must take place in all aspects of Tanzanian society: laws and
customs, which fuel the fire of domestic violence, must make the practice
illegal and unacceptable. Abusive husbands need to recognize wife beating as
wrong and unbearable. Women need to get help, get out of an abusive situation
and join the fight for women’s rights in Tanzania.
kimberly@aidafrica.org
