|
|
 |
|
No. 00268 |
May 3-9, 2003 |
|
|
|
| |||||||||||
|
|
Arusha’s Weapons of Mad Conclusions!By Valentine marc Nkwame
As usual, whenever Presidents get together for a tete a tete, you will always find a large battalion of security men, whose main task is to ensure that, those fellows don’t end up dead. ... And if they accidentally do, nobody should be blamed. Again! Wherever there are Presidents (or any other local politician for that matter), you will also find a hoard of reporters, wanting to cover everything that those presidents are likely to say. Except that, Presidents usually never have anything to say, but tend to read notes from some ten page manuals .... Written by someone else! Reporters, who normally love to write about what Politicians read from papers, written by other people, usually carry recorders with them ... So that those chaps may never claim to have been "misquoted" or something! Well then, on that particular Presidential conversion at AICC, one of the reporters made the mistake of carrying some technologically advanced recorder .... A Mini Disc (MD). Now! All hell had to break loose, because apparently, our dear security men had neither seen, nor heard of, a Mini Disc machine, so they decided to impound it. To them, it was probably a remarkable finding that could have guaranteed double promotion ... After all, they have just impounded a dangerous "Weapon of mass destruction!" With the Iraq controversy then brewing up, suddenly! The security guys saw themselves as international heroes, who have managed to uncover one of Saddam Hussein’s latest Bio-Chemical weapons. MH! Later however, those guys finally realized that they were actually .. Eh ... just technological backward, thus handled back the MD to its then furious owner. The old adage, "Ignorant is expensive" could have taken on a rather frightening reality, if during their "Inspection" the security guys had destroyed the MD....I mean, an ordinary portable Mini disc recorder, like the one that reporter was using, usually goes for up to Tsh.300,000. Anyway this incident should be a lesson to all Arushan residents that, in order to survive in this town, one must adopt the stone age, lifestyles. For instance, though cellular phones have been around for over seven years now, a number of them, will still baffle the local police force. A warning to those with modern Cell phone sets, especially those without the usual protruding Antennas ... These can easily land you in police custody. I am still not quite sure of how many local security men have seen a Computer, but even those who have, may demand a few explanations, should they happen to catch you carrying a Lap-top in town. Your written statement about the Lap-top being a computer, may never exactly convince the cops, because surely computers must be those, that get placed on an office table, complete with a separate CPU, Monitor, Keyboard and a secretary, seated behind it. In other words a lap-top should be the detonator of some self propelling missile of .... Eh .... Mass destruction! I pity the guy who drives the one and only, yellow, new model Volkswagen (VW) beetle in town ... Put it in the garage mate, or face charges. You know, the Iraq war may be over, but both George Bush and Tony Blair are still searching for some alleged weapons, that Saddam Hussein is supposed to be concealing somewhere. The local security guys are also very aware of this, plus they are very keen to offer any possible assistance in recovering the "Weapons of mass destruction." You can also bet that, these guys have also never seen, or heard of the new Volkswagen models. Mind you, the fact that, this new VW designs have their Engines located in the front hood, the security fellow could just be in the verge of making a fresh discovery .... A Missile (of mass destruction) on Wheels. There is a great need to carry out extensive research about all people who got arrested when Television sets were being introduced in Arusha .... And if you happen to own a DSTV dish, plus the decoder. We may soon have to visit you in prison. |
|
Last modified:
May 01, 2003. Webmaster: WDJMallya |
A few
weeks ago, some Presidents were converging at the Arusha International
Conference Centre .... Some Presidents always converge at the Arusha
International Conference Centre!