By Valentine Marc Nkwame

Every experienced motorist in Arusha, knows this, simple, unofficial yet very important traffic regulation that only applies in some specific areas of this town and at certain hours!

The specific areas are non other than the Regional block section of Makongoro road, along India street, around Clock Tower area and of course, Goliondoi road.

The certain hours, range from 9.00 p.m. (21:00 hours) at night, to about 3.00 a.m. (3.00 hours) early in the day, that is before sunrise.

As the devil would have it, the sun usually comes out late in Arusha ... I don’t blame it either!

Anyway! the unwritten traffic rule demands that; "All cars approaching those specified areas at the stated time frame of the night, MUST have their headlights dipped."

Come to think, it is actually recommended that the lights should be off altogether if possible, for maximum comfort of other road users.... Mind you, we are currently observing the alleged "Road Safety Week!"

You may wonder, what road users these are, at such time of the night, but experienced motorists do not need to see them, in order to know that, there are usually many "pedestrians" on either sides of those roads.... At such hours.

The said pedestrians are usually not prepared to cross the roads but would rather stay hidden at the roadsides doing what former residents of extinct Gomorrah used to do.

So, motorists always dip their headlights because while for some reason, the "pedestrians" enjoy vehicles moving around them, they normally don’t like strong lights.

In fact, they do hate all sorts of illumination, because what takes place in those areas and at such times is the world’s oldest profession and most people’s favourite past time ... Sex!

So, if you make the mistake of cruising around the red zones with full lights then your car is likely to get stoned .... Tables have turned, nowadays. It is the fornicators who stone other people!

Apparently, nowadays every activity in Arusha runs on sex, while every issue, on the other hand is usually interpreted erotically .... Including the new traffic rules.

Some people find it kinky to fornicate on road sides, not because they have nowhere else to go but that’s simply their preference.

Believe it or not, nowadays others do it at cemeteries! Gone is the old fear of burial places, the Kaloleni graveyard for instance, is getting very popular as the time goes by, every night, some "living ghosts" use it lasciviously.

So, who are the future tycoons of this town? Well, the night watchmen of course, especially those guarding premises with spacious backyards.

One of them recently confessed (boastfully too), that he normally gets up to 20 customers every night. The customers pay him to use the backyard, in their quest to revive the Biblical Sodom.

Some more business oriented watchmen usually have several boxes of condoms with them and they normally retail those adult balloons at staggering prices .... up to Tsh.200 per piece.

"They buy them!" confides a lecherous old watchman, "Who wouldn't? They have no choice at that time of the night"

His customers are usually rich people, driving big cars and who lets him keep the change whenever he sells them those polythene sheaths.... In most cases they also let the watchmen do some scavenging work on the Lay-deez, as soon as the mighty lions have finished with them.

Ever wondered why those female lunatics who live by scavenging garbage dumps also get new babies every year?

The fathers of those babies are actually sane people and in most cases, highly placed or very rich individuals of this town.... Stinking rich!

In recent times, we have had mad women having cross breed off springs like the one who walks around with a little girl (Her daughter), of mixed races.

Mhh! Promiscuous sex may be dirty, especially when practiced illegally, but so is stoning a woman just because she has given birth to another human being.

In other words, before they stone Amina Lawal to death, somebody in Nigeria needs to come and visit Arusha , or better still, seek advice from Jesus Christ.

The former resident of Nazareth once cautioned: "He who hasn’t ever sinned, should be the first person to cast the stone!"

Don't cast the stone, just visit Arusha at night.... And of course, dip the head lights.