Those
Sexy Vodacom Television commercials!
By
Valentine Marc Nkwame
Ah! Here
we go again. Some Television commercials are currently making the Arusha ladies
very angry.
Come to
think of it, there is always something on either the Radio or Television, that
will usually be making our ladies to go up the wall.
Last year
for instance, there was this rather catchy Swahili pop song which kept playing
on the radio with this lyrics.
- Wanawake Wazuri Wazuri,
- Wameolewa!
- Yamebaki Manunga Yembe,
- Yana-angaika!
-
- (All the good ladies
- are already married
- those remaining
- are rotten Mangoes
- Moving aimlessly!)
According
to the ladies, this lyrics are quite insulting to their gender and in fact, some
local papers even reported cases of women who either committed or attempted
suicide when people christened them: “Nunga Yembe.” (Rotten mango).
This year
however, the ladies have a new Pet-peeve, namely; the Television commercials of
the cell phone service provider; Vodacom!
According
to Our ladies, the four types of commercials , though meant to promote Vodacom
services, are actually portraying them as sex objects.
Let’s see!
The first commercial has this wide-eyed male Bimbo, riding on a scooter when:
Voila a semi-nude lady approaches from a different direction.
Boy! The
lady’s anatomy must have been designed by a sex maniac, she is full in every
inch, an overloaded bosom, large shaking rear, “Beer bottle” legs etc, etc.
Our male
bimbo finds this rather too much as his head kept turning, eyes popping out of
their sockets as the “Lay-Dee” busy flaunting her torso, passed by.
Suddenly!
The scooter hits a pile of fruit merchandise by the road, sending a large Mango
flying up high, before landing on the male bimbo’s head, with a nauseating
yellow splatter....It must have been rotten.
Nearby, an
old greying man finds this rather amusing, so he picks up his cell phone, dials
a number as he laughs merrily.
The second
commercial, is set in a boxing arena, once more starring our male bimbo, the
sexy, semi-nude Lay-Dee and of course the inanely, grinning old man, with
a cell phone.
One boxer
in the ring is getting the worst of it, but when the third round comes,
suddenly; the “Lay-Dee” walks by, flashing a placard as she winks at the
bimbo.
Trying to
show off, the bimbo climbs up the ring and shout to the smitten boxer, “Hey you!
Fight on.” .... Some guys can be really stupid.
The burly
boxer somehow finds this insulting, so he turns and punch the bimbo onto his
face sending the poor guy on the floor .... I can’t blame the boxer!
For some
reason, the old man with the cell phone, also finds this interesting, thus
laughing even lauder, he again dials up a number, as two men carry the fainted
bimbo out of the arena on a stretcher.
The Bimbo
however, lives to appear on the third commercial, this time acting as a door to
door, second hand clothes hawker
At a
certain house, a young beautiful lady opens the door, smiling as wide as the
legendary Cheshire cat.
Apparently! The lady’s skirt is many inches above the knee, plus, she happens to
have legs that seem to have been sculptured by Machiavelli.
The male
bimbo’s eyes once more pop out, but suddenly! A burly guy appear from inside.
Upon seeing the bimbo staring at his “Mamma,” he lets out a roar, loud enough to
even shake rotten mangoes off any tree.
The Bimbo
drops all his clothes merchandise, before taking off like a bat out of hell,
with the burly guy, on hot pursuit. Of course, the old man seated at the road
side, laughs and dials up a number.
I am
saving the fourth commercial for the future .....Of rotten Mangoes!
valentine@nkwame.snr.cx
